Andrew Reiff

National

Summary- Tennessee town has run out of water

The town of Orme Tennessee, a town of only 145 people, has run out of water. Literally. The water from the old tank is turned on for only 3 hours each day, from 6pm to 9pm, and all the water, 20000 gallons, is shipped by hand in fire trucks from a hydrant several miles out of town. Having a natural water source near, the old mining town has never been connected to a main water line. The town has received, however, a federal grant to build a 2 1/2 mile pipeline to Bridgeport, Ala, which has water.

Opinion

This is how bad the drought is in the South. I had never really realized it, but that is extremely bad. Come on, and town, no matter what the size, needs water. And to run out to the point that they are shipping it in from other towns? That is tragic my friends. One thing I found funny was the annual budget of the town... 13000 dollars... and they had spent 8000 of it on the crisis. How do they pay the mayor??

International

Summary- Nalbandian beats Federer Again!!!

For the second time in less than two weeks, David Nalbandian has beaten Roger Federer. This time is comes in the second round of the Paris Masters. David's record against Federer is now 8-8, and it is Federer's eighth loss of the year. The score was 6-4 7-6, and Federer complained about the indoor surface being too slow. In other news, Nadal advanced and the ATP is still looking into why Davydenko seems to be tanking matches lately.

Opinion-

Is Federer getting old? I mean, 8 losses in one year? That is pretty sloppy considering he has had like years where he only had one or 2 losses. In any case, good for Nalbandian. I have always liked him as a player, and it looks as if he is finally reaching his potential, although he has lost in some first rounds this year. If he can win a major that would be huge, I just hope he sees Federer in one.

National

Summary- Dog, cat honored for saving masters

A dog and a cat were honored by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals for their heroic actions that saved the lives of their family. Toby, the dog, jumped on his mistress who was choking on an apple, thereby giving her the Heimlich maneuver and clearing her throat. The cat, Winnie, woke up her family when a basement water pump malfunctioned and carbon monoxide spread through the house. The cat jumped on her mistress and tugged at her hair with her claws until she woke up.

Opinion-

And whoever said anything about dogs and cats being useless? These pets did some good stuff... and I guess they are being rewarded, although the owners get to eat in the fanciest restaurant in Manhattan for free... but the pets get to go along and probably get freaked out by all the strange people. How about like five years worth of top-of-the-line pet food or something like that? Oh, well at least they got something right?

International

Summary- Man with beer takes hearse to go fishing

In New Zealand a man who attended a funeral and was drinking all day decided to take the home's hearse and "Check out th' sea conditions" before going fishing, authorities say. The man had a carton of beer with him in the hearse, but unfortunately there was no body in it at the time. The police chased him and when they caught up with him asked where he was going and he said he was going fishing. He was charged with stealing a vehicle.

Opinion-

Another example of what too much strong drink can do to a man. I guess he was sad, and sad people like to fish, and he was also drunk, so he wanted to fish now, and the only vehicle around was the hearse. Do they not have DUI's in New Zealand? Because that was definitely one. They probably could have charged him with like stealing a body if there had been one in the hearse that he took. Although it would have raised some questions as to why a funeral home had a parked hearse with a body in it... There's a joke in there somewhere... Ill probably find it tomorrow. Good night world.