Logan Lann

National

War With Iran?

Summary

Democrats joined with Republicans in Congress in voting to officially declare the Revolutionary Corps of Iran a terrorist organization. The movement was passed with a decent majority of the Senate. Both Democrats and Republicans in Congress are pushing the president to officially declare the Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organization. The
Revolutionary Guard is in fact funded by other terrorist organizations. Opposition to this move says that this is just an excuse to go to war with Iran and that the Democrats were mistaken to side with Republicans on this issue. Some believe this action will lead to war with Iran, and some believe that the former are just blowing this out of proportion.

Opinion

I believe this is a good move on Congress’s part. Finally the Democrats acquire some intelligence and side with the Republican intellect that we have all come to know and love. I do not believe that this will lead to war with Iran, or at least not right away. Even if it does eventually lead to war with Iran, that might not be such a bad thing. I honestly believe that Ahmadinejad with his loopy ideals will one day attack, in one way or another, America or one of its allies. This possible war would just be a preemptive strike that would prevent death of innocent people. War or no war, the move was a good move. Militarily, politically, economically, one way or another, action needs to be taken against Ahmadinejad and his supporters.

International

Killing in Southern Afghanistan

Summary

An approximated one hundred seventy insurgents have been killed in the last three days of fighting in southern Afghanistan. Coalition troops targeted a compound suspected of harboring insurgents in Helmand. Two insurgents were killed and others were captured. Approximately one hundred insurgents died in the region of Musa Qala. A coalition group was on patrol northeast of Deh Rawod, where they killed over three dozen insurgents, preventing an ambush.

Opinion

Progress is most certainly being made in the Middle East. Whoever says that war never does any good is dead wrong. Progress is being made, and, ideally, the Middle East is on a path to be cleaned up. This may not ever happen completely, but allies will be made through the actions the current government is taking. If success is made in Iraq, the U.S. will have an ally in a vitally needed area. This country will be a great platform for countering terrorism in the area. It will also show that there is hope for other countries to become democratic and, most importantly, that America stands its ground. In the words of Cash: “ No I won’t back down.” This will make other nations second-guess the idea of fooling with this country. However, if the pussy liberals have their way, and America pulls out of Iraq, this will just add fuel to the anti-American fire that already runs ramped in the Middle East, not to mention what will become of the people of Iraq. WE NEED TO FINISH WHAT WE START!!!!!!!!

National

Newman and Kramer Cans

Summary

In a 1996 episode of Seinfeld, Newman and Kramer find that they can collect aluminum cans and travel to Michigan to get a bigger refund for them. Well, now fiction becomes fact. Ten people in Detroit were charged with running a criminal enterprise, a twenty-year felony, and fraud, a five-year felony. They went around collecting recyclables and depositing them themselves. They had stores where people could bring their cans to the stores. The owners of the stores would then sell them to merchants who would redeem them. This corruption defrauded the Michigan Bottle Deposit Fund, which gave its profit to environmental clean up.

Opinion

That episode of Seinfeld was hilarious! That entire show is really funny. These people just need to find a way to make honest money. It’s not that hard. Plenty of people do it. One wonders if humanity will ever learn. Some idiot(s) appear on the news with a story of a criminal scheme gone stupidly wrong due to an overwhelming lack of intelligence. Then what happens next? The same story is on the news, and this time, those involved have probably heard about the former. Stupid crime is the worst crime and at the same time the best crime. I mean, seriously, cans? Idiots.

International

Chavez the Idiot

Summary

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez decided not to attend the U.N. meeting this year because of packed schedule at him in Venezuela. He sent a representative instead. In the meeting last year, Chavez called Bush the devil. He also congratulated, on the behalf of the Venezuelan people, Ahmadinejad for going to Columbia University and unmasking America for the empire it is, and U.S. hostility to other nations. Chavez called the invite to Columbia an “ambush” and said that Ahmadinejad faced tough questions. He is proud of his Iranian ally.

Opinion

YOU CAN SUCK IT CHAVEZ!!!!!!!!!!! You are not a president, but a dictator. You country is nothing like a republic or a democracy, but an oppression. The world is a lesser place with you in it, much less as a leader. American hostility? Maybe that’s a reference to the war that is taking place, but Iraq was far worse off before American troops set foot there. Also, if I recall correctly, Iran AND Venezuela have been involved in brutal hostility, much more than the U.S. You have so much crap to speak about America, but without us, you would be nothing. This country supports at least a third of your economy. By the way world, listen up and get wise: If this guy is a good friend of a might-as-well-be terrorist, and soon to be just that, we might want to pay attention to this guy and keep tabs on him. This guy calls Bush “the devil,” but if Satan is accomplishing his work here on earth through anyone, it is people like Chavez and Ahmadinejad. Bush is in fact the one fighting Satan’s work through these people, and, if I may be so frank (I know I will get a lot of flack for my beliefs in this area), Bush is the one carrying out the Lord’s work in the world. If people don’t start get some intelligence and wisdom, ‘tards like Chavez and Ahmadinejad will be able to succeed, which is bad news for everyone. The pussy left needs to realize that war is sometimes the best way to handle some situations. Violence really does stop violence. Which brings me back to Ahmadinejad at Columbia, and I know everyone is tired of my tirade about this, but he should have never had the chance to speak at the university. That is one evil man, folks! This needs to be realized. This country is poop if Barack or Clinton is elected. Also, Chavez said that Ahmadinejad faced “tough” questions at Columbia, and made him sound like the victim, but Ahmadinejad made the president of Columbia, Lee Bollinger, look like a total retard. This was a mistake to invite him here. If you were to ask Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli, he would say that Ahmadinejad should have been assissinated while he was here. That would have probably been best for everyone, but, again, the stupid left would make a fuss, like always.